Once I became an expert on power marketing everything, people began to respect me. I was hired for speaking engagements, I was a guest on the Dr. Ploppy Show, and I was even name-checked by some rapper woman who goes by the moniker of Lil’ Skanky.
Now that I’m a big shot, I want to tell you the secrets behind The Millicent Bodsworth Success Polygon™, The Millicent Bodsworth Million Dollar Hexagon™, The Millicent Bodsworth Motivational Rectangle™, and my many more winning concepts and strategies that are named after shapes. And myself.
My First Of Many Reckless Promises
I want to make you a reckless promise right here. I guarantee you that my advice will change your life forever.
Once I’m done filling your head with power marketing brilliance you will metamorphize in ways you never imagined. You’re not going to turn into a cockroach with super powers but you will transform into a successful person. And you’ll lose 10 pounds and quit smoking.
Now let’s get started!
Make Ambition Your New God
Hmm, that sounds a tad sacrilegious, I think I’ll change the subheading.
Ambition Over Family And Friends
No, that’s not it. Let’s give this one more try…
It’s Okay To Be Ambitious
That’s the biscuit.
It’s my belief that you can’t do anything without a desire for some type of achievement or distinction. I call this desire “ambition.” I believe the dictionary does as well.
The first step to achieving ambition is to reject unambition.
Unambition happens when inhibition and intuition are held inaction and in addition are influenced by indecision.
If you don’t have ambition you don’t have purpose, discipline and the will to get ahead and step on anybody who gets in your way.
And these are traits we should be craving. (Or jonsing as the middle-aged kids call it.) It’s my honest-to-goodness believe that in order to succeed we need to have what I call “Ambition Addiction.”
Like a smoker’s nagging cough, we need our ambition to be rattling away inside our bodies and reminding us it’s always there.
We need to crave it like the shaky alcoholic does the morning shot of booze.
We need to be a slave to ambition in the same way the junky sacrifices everything for methamphetamine.
I know, I’m getting a bit grizzly in the image department but the good news is that instead of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, cirrhosis of the liver, and meth mouth, the long term effects of your addiction to ambition include:
- Success Tremors
- Upper Class Dizziness
- Big Stomach Achievement
- Millionaire Cough
- Serenity Pants
- Obsessive Completion Disorder
- Nouveau Riche Rash
- Fulfillment Drowsiness
- Severe or Persistent Gusto
- Prosperity Cramps
The Health Benefits Of Ambition Addiction
According to a Marine Biologist that I once shared a taxi with, physical and psychological dependence to ambition can, if harnessed properly, improve the blood-brain barrier resulting in positive and permanent alteration of the chemical composition of the old coconut. (I suspect that’s why sharks are so successful!)
Mr. Marine Biologist may also have told me that continued involvement with ambition results in success at everything and marked elevations of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Or maybe he didn’t say that last part and I just lifted it from The Encyclopaedia Britannica. It’s hard to say, the taxi ride happened so quickly.
For many more years than I care to remember, I was sorely lacking when it came to having ambition. Much like the appeal of tattoos, ambition eluded me. (Really dear, if you want to mutilate your body why not just get a job as a lion-tamer and let nature take its course.)
I’ll talk more about the roots of my Ambition Aversion in the coming weeks, but until then…
Milly’s Words Of Wisdom
Today is your day. Tomorrow is your fate. Yesterday happened, there’s no denying that. So let it go. Take charge. Take control. Take heed. Only you can shape your destiny. Be everything you want to be. Don’t look back. Look full speed ahead. Wear clean underwear. Do it. Be it. Vision it. Imagine it. Reimagine it. Go for it. Nail it. And gosh darn it, figure out just what “it” is.